If I Should Die Before I Wake
by But I Have Promises To Keep
Summary: "I'm being watched.They're going to take me". It's been three years since Natara was forced to leave, since she lost all contact with Mal. But when she comes back, Mal discovers a whole world of danger that seems to be following her. Contains Maltara.
1. Chapter 1

It's been three years since Natara was forced to chase Genevieve back to Miami, after Genevieve decided to 'extend her influence'. Three years since she caught her. Three years since she went back to the FBI, since she married Oscar. Since they moved to D.C., where Mal heard she joined the BAU. He never heard anything from her, the last acknowledgement that she was even alive was the small wedding announcement just after she married Oscar. He figured she had moved on, and it was too much to try and hold on to people she had to leave behind. It was the last thing Mal expected, three years after her departure, to come walking in the front door of the station.

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><p>It was over the summer that Mal saw her again, strolling into the station as if it were three years ago and did so every day. She kept part of herself hidden behind the front door, scanning the room for something. No one even payed her any mind, surprising since she hadn't changed at all. Her eyes locked on Mal, narrowing and she mouthed "Come here!".<p>

Confused and shocked at her sudden appearance, Mal had mouthed back "What?".

She motioned for him to come with her hand, mouthing the words once again "Come here!".  
>Mal looked around, making sure no one was watching, and quickly crossed the room to where she was. Seeing he had obeyed, she slipped out of the doorway and was already walking away. Mal quickened his pace and followed.<p>

"What the–?" he started, but Natara shushed him.

"Not here" she said sharply. She nodded to something at her side, and Mal noticed something he hadn't before. A little girl, only maybe two. She was walking happily beside Natara, and Mal presumed she had been the reason Natara remained partially hidden in the doorway. They walked in silence for a while, until the reached a small playground. "Go play" Natara whispered softly to her. She obeyed. Before Mal could even react, Natara whipped around and said suddenly "I need your help".

"What do you mean?".

"I'm being watched. They're after me, after Kayla" she nodded to the little girl. "I don't have much time to explain, but I need your help. They are going to get me, I know it. But I can't let them take Kayla".

"Is she–?"

"She's my daughter" Natara confirmed. She looked fondly at the girl, as if she were the whole world. Mal could see the resemblance. She had her fathers black hair, her mothers olive skin and dark eyes. She was smiling merrily as she climbed onto a swing set, swinging in the air alongside several other children.

"And where's Oscar?".

Natara but her lower lip, and Mal could see a glassy layer form over her eyes. "Gone".

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><p><em>Two weeks ago<em>

_"Oscar!" Natara called from where she and Kayla were standing outside. "I'm taking Kayla to the park!". _  
><em>She could hear Oscar yell something from another room, but couldn't hear what. She figured it was and 'Okay'. She carried her daughter to the nearby playground, but only remained there for an hour before Kayla complained about the heat. Natara took her back, holding one of her little hands as they went. Natara turned the corner, and at the end of her street she could see several people crowded around. Flames were pouring out of the windows, smoke coming in swirls out of cracks in the walls. <em>

_"Oh. My. God."._

_She didn't know she had let go of Kayla's hand, that one of her neighbors had grabbed the little girl to protect her from harm. That she was screaming Oscars name, trying to push past the crowd and get inside. _

_"Ma'am" said one of the firemen as he tried to hold her back "I'm sorry, he's–" _

_"No! No, he can't be! Oscar! Oscar!" she screamed, wanting nothing more that to run inside and find him. She fought to get past the fireman, but after a moment of struggling she gave up._

_"He's gone" the fireman said gently "I'm sorry. He's gone". _

_And so, a few hours later Natara wasn't sure what events took place to bring her to siting outside her now flame-less home, now left in ruins. Or how she came to sitting on the front steps, holding Kayla and trying not to cry. Only one thought went through her mind, one that she supposed came from a combination of her instincts and a mothers intuition. What ran through her mind, was that this was no accident. That whoever caused this, was coming after her and Kayla next._

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><p><strong>Who do YOU think is after Natara and why? And why did she come after Mal for help? Sorry if this chapter was kinda slow. Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think so far?<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! Review Replies:**

**MaltaraFluff647: Thanks! And I promise there will be small bits of Maltara that grow better as the story goes on, just not a lot in the beginning since Oscar just died and I can't exactly have her bounce back that fast. Thanks for the review!**

**Oryt: Thanks! Don't worry though, I married them for a reason!**

**mozzi-girl: Don't worry, I swear I had a reason for it, and this is going to have a little bit of Maltara :) Thanks for the review!**

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><p>"What do you mean 'gone'?" Mal asked.<p>

"He-he's just—" she trailed off suddenly, still looking at Kayla. "About three weeks after I left, I caught Genevieve" she said. "But I found out she had just taken a girl in, supposedly to take over for her, like she wanted me to all those years ago. I don't know where this girl is, or who she is for that matter, but shortly after they gave Genevieve a life sentence I got a threatening letter, and I quit the FBI shortly after I found out I was pregnant with Kayla. I couldn't risk her getting in the way if this. Everything was fine, until about two weeks ago…". The glassy look returned to her eyes. "I took Kayla out for just a little while…and when I came back…". She stopped for a moment, clearly trying to string together words. "My house was on fire. Oscar was supposedly trapped inside, but later when they found what was left of his body they said he didn't die from smoke inhalation or burns. There was too much damage to find out exactly why…but…". Her face was scrunched up in a way Mal had never seen it before. He reached a hand out to console her, but she turned away slightly. "I can't let them get Kayla, and I know they'll go after her. In the letter I got, she said she was going to find my weakness and use it to take me down".

"And you think Kayla's your weakness".

She sighed, watching as Kayla laughed as she chased another child across the playground. "She's my whole world" Natara said eventually, leaning against the short chain link fence. "I would do anything to protect her. I'm afraid whoever this girl is, she might see her as an opportunity. Use her to get to me. Didn't you ever wonder why I never called?" she said a little louder. She appeared to have recovered from talking about Oscars death. "I didn't want anyone to make a connection, at the beginning, I was worried. After things calmed down, too much time had gone by, and I just never did".

"We were worried about you" Mal said "Me, Amy, even Kai. None of us even knew you weren't dead in some ditch somewhere".

She looked down at the ground, avoiding his gaze. "I know I should have called. But I didn't, and I can't change that. I was just so busy…"

"…with Kayla" Mal finished for her. Natara shot him a sharp look, seemingly taking this the wrong way. "You could have called once. Or sent a letter or something. No one even knew Kayla existed, we had no idea what was going on with you. Kayla…"

But suddenly Natara whipped around, her eyes narrowed. "Don't you dare bring Kayla into this". She got closer, looking Mal dead in the eye. "You wanna know the real reason why I didn't contact anyone? To protect Kayla. If anyone made the connection between us and the Natara who once lived here, who knows what else they can do? I'm _not_ going to put Kayla at risk". Her eyes sharpened, clearly trying to see how Mal would react to this. But at that point Mal knew that Natara would throw him under a bus in a heartbeat to save Kayla's life. And oddly, he could understand why. After a moment Natara looked away, letting out a deep breath. "I'm sorry" she said quickly "it's been a rough two weeks. I just don't know where to turn anymore, I don't know who I can trust. That's why I'm here" she looked back up at him, her eyes pleading. "After all these years, I would still trust you with my life, and I know you trusted me". She leaned closer once more, as if she could physically see deception if she looked hard enough. "And if you'll help me, I need to know I can trust you with something much more valuable than my life".

Mal looked at her for a moment, as if expecting her to continue. "What do you need?".

Her eyes lit up as if he had presented her with the most wonderful gift in the world. "So you'll help me?".

"Of course".

She surprised him by grabbing and hugging him, and he only stood there shocked for a moment. "I really owe you one Mal" she said quietly.

Mal hesitantly put a hand on the back of her shoulder, afraid she would turn away like before. "Forget it. You'd do the same for me".

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><p>Mal gave the keys to his apartment to Natara so she could get out of the heat, since he still had to go back to work for a few hours.<p>

"Don't you want to see Amy? Or anyone before you head back there?" he asked.

"No" she said sharply. "I'd prefer if no one knew I was here, at least until I can find out if I'm being followed or not. It's safer that way. That's why I only called you from the doorway. If someone finds out I'm here it wouldn't be the end of the world, but I'd prefer if no one knew. Besides–" she pulled the strap of her duffle bag, which Mal hadn't noticed she had, closer. "I've been carrying this around all day, I'd really like to sit down".

"Fine. Meet you back there in a few hours?".

She nodded, grabbing Kayla's little hand and took her through the crowd. They passed the Chinese place she and Mal went to, and Natara was surprised to see it was still there. It seemed like this place had barely changed, like nothing different had occurred in three years.

"Mommy!" she yelled, and Natara look back. She hadn't realized how tightly she had been squeezing Kayla's hand. It was too loud for Natara to respond, so she pulled Kayla closer and kept walking.

"Excuse me?" a voice said, and someone tapped Natara on the shoulder. She whipped around, coming face to face with a man. He was holding a crumpled map, and judging by the way he was dressed Natara guessed he was a tourist. "Can you tell me where fifth street is?". Natara took Kayla's tiny hand a wrapped it around the strap of her duffle bag so she had something to hold onto. She quickly took the map, only taking a minute to point out the street to the man. He thanked her and left, disappearing into the crowd. Natara turned back to take Kayla's hand again, but couldn't feel anyone behind her. She whipped around, but no one was there.

"Kayla?" she called, searching desperately around for the girl. "Kayla!". But she was gone, and no matter how many people Natara shoved out of he way in her desperate search she couldn't find a single small dark-haired form.


	3. Chapter 3

Mal had barely walked in the door before Natara came back, walking in the door and seemingly beyond caring if she was conspicuous or not. Luckily there were very few people now, as most of the other officers had gone out on patrol. The handful that were left didn't pay Natara any mind, not even giving her a second glance as she walked by.

Mal had a thousand questions as she half-ran across the room to him, but upon noticing the lack of a certain dark haired girl he asked "Where's Kayla?".

Natara nervously ran a hand through her hair, and Mal wondered if this was a habit she had picked up in the past few years. "I don't know…I let go of her for just a second…and when I looked back–" she handed a small crumpled piece of paper to him, and he started to open it. It took him a minute, for it was slightly damp from Natara clutching it in her sweating hands, but after a moment he got it open.

_I hope you don't mind, I took Kayla for a little picnic. You can join us if you can find us, hopefully it doesn't take you a lifetime._

There was no name at the bottom, but instead four strange symbols. They appeared to be in another language, but Mal couldn't be sure.

"It was stuffed in the outside pocket of my bag, I don't know how they got it there without me knowing. It looks just like the last one I got" Natara said breathlessly. For the first time there was pure worry in her voice, something Mal had never heard before. "I can't be sure about the handwriting. I saved the last letter, but it was destroyed in the fire. But that–" she pointed at the small cluster of symbols "–was at the bottom of the other one too". She ran her hand through her hair again, clearly distraught. "I'm so stupid! If I had just ignored that guy and watched her—"

"What guy?".

"Some tourist! He asked me for directions, I let of of Kayla and when I looked back she was gone!".

"What exactly did he say?" Mal asked. "If he was working with whoever's after you, then he might have been giving you a clue. It might be a little far-fetched, but if Genevieve taught this girl anything it seems like something she would do".

Natara thought for a moment, racking her brain for exactly what the man had said. "He asked me for directions to fifth street" she finally said.

"Fifth street? Are you sure?". She nodded. "We need to go, now. I'll explain on the way".

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><p>"There was a cliff" Mal explained as he maneuvered his car through the streets. "A long time ago, tourists used to visit it. It dropped off right into the water. It was abandoned a long time ago, after a little boy fell off and his father tried to save him. They both drowned, leaving behind the boys mother. Because of that, they call it Widows Peak. There're probably hundreds of fifth streets in San Francisco, but one one goes there. It's out best chance".<p>

Natara nodded in silence, and when Mal glanced at her he noticed she was wringing her hands. It took a few minutes for them to pull into the parking lot outside the surrounding woods. Natara was already getting out before the car had even stopped.

"Check the surrounding woods, I'm going to the peak".

Mal wanted to protest that if Kayla was anywhere near here, it would be unlikely that she would be in the woods. But he only nodded, not really wanting to argue with her and figuring she wanted to find Kayla herself first. "Theres a dirt path, follow it. It should only take you a few minutes to get to the top".

Without even looking at Mal, she ran off towards the path, not even looking back to see Mal heading out in the other direction. She badly wanted to call out to Kayla, so she knew she was coming. But every part of her knew this was a bad idea, and doing this could endanger Kayla's life further. Eventually the trees thinned, and Natara would see the peak. The outline of an old pickup truck was visible in the distance, clearly driven to the edge of the cliff after crashing through the woods. She could see someone move, turning their head and picking up something small and limp. They walked to the edge, and when Natara neared she could see what the figure was holding. It was Kayla, and she looked like she was dead. Natara stopped in her tracks, her jaw dropped in horror.

"Relax" a gruff female voice said "She's not dead, however the fact that she stays that way is entirely up to you". Her face was hidden by the bright sun obscuring Natara's vision, but she could still see her take a small step back. Her heels were on the edge, and she was clearly teasing her.

"Please" Natara pleaded, hating herself for begging. "It's me you want. Not her. Let her go, take me instead".

The woman seemed to think for a moment, but was forced to make her decision quickly after hearing Mal's call of "Nat!".

"Get down on the ground" the woman said forcefully, still holding Kayla. Natara reluctantly obeyed, getting onto her knees. Still balancing Kayla in the crook of her arm, she reached down and grabbed a length of rope that Natara supposed had once been used to tie up Kayla. The woman went behind her and put Kayla down in the grass, roughly grabbing Natara's wrists and tying them behind her back. She grabbed Natara's upper arm, forcing her to her feet and shoving her towards the truck. Natara got a brief glance at Kayla before she was forced away, and from here she could see she was alive. Her palms were facing up, her fingers bent slightly as if lifeless, but she could faintly see her chest rising and falling. Before she was forced in the passenger side, she scanned the tree line for Mal. She couldn't see him, and wasn't sure if he could see her. Just in case, she worked her wedding ring off her finger so that it fell off and into the grass. So maybe, when he found Kayla, Mal would see it and know she had been there.


	4. Chapter 4

**Review replies:**

**stayinschooltori: thanks! That really means a lot! I've never heard of Law Abiding Citizen', is that a movie or something? Its probably something really obvious, isn't it? I just don't hear a lot about that stuff since I don't watch a lot of TV. **

**mozzi-girl: hehe, 'Mother mode'. Sounds like something my teacher would say, since she teaches my Ag. class and when we're working with animals she think its funny when the rabbits have babies and they're super protective.**

**MaltaraFluff647: Thanks a lot!**

**Oryt: don't worry, Maltara's on the way :) Thanks for the review!**

**Barnu: Thanks!**

**Just as an authors note I will probably be ending this in a few chapters, I don't intend for it to be to long. After this I'll either do my 'Masquerade' or my 'Haunted' story. (Both of them are going to be kinda creepy, especially 'Haunted', because I loved writing my last creepy story). And…yeah that's pretty much it.**

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><p>The first thing Natara noticed before she opened her eyes was the bone-chilling cold that crept up her spine. She slowly opened her eyes, for a moment forgetting what had happened . She couldn't remember being knocked out, but knew she didn't simply fall unconscious for no reason. It took her a moment to take in her surroundings, for her mind was still hazy. The room she was in appeared to be a basement of some sort. The floor was cold cement, and the room was bare except for a small rusty sink in the corner. She was just getting off the dirty cement floor when the door opened, someone slipping inside. She looked up to see a woman, presumably the same one from earlier. She was in her mid-twenties, her features were sharp and harsh, her dark hair pulled back in a pony tail. Her heavily-hooded eyes were locked on her, hate burning behind them. Natara didn't speak, but simply gave the woman an icy glare. She kept away from the woman, resisting the urge to claw at her for even touching Kayla. She leaned against the sink, determined not to show that whatever had rendered her unconscious would not weaken her. She feared if she stood it would show, for she still felt a little unsteady. She stared into the woman's eyes, determined to see what she had seen in the eyes of other criminals: a way in. But they were blank and dead-looking, and something about her was different from Genevieve. She carried herself with less pride, her face uncaring rather than proud. She lacked a certain arrogant smile, her mouth was stuck in a bored-looking frown.<p>

"Don't worry by the way" she said "the kid of yours is fine. I gave her the same thing as you to knock her out, just a lower dosage. She should be fine".

For some reason the way she said that made Natara angrier. Just the way she called her 'that kid of yours' made her blood boil. But still, she was relieved to hear that she was alright. She doubted the woman was lying, she could see no reason why she would.

Still, she ignored what she said about Kayla for the time being and said. "Look, you seem like a sensible woman. Clearly you don't seem to want to hurt anybody, so if you could just—".

"No". She looked around as is expecting someone to be watching her. "You're wrong. I'm just like her. I'm just like Genevieve. She told me so. Told me I was good, I was just like her, right from the day she took me in. She's been nothing but helpful to me, so don't you go telling me anything bad about her. She told me you're the reason she's locked up, and I can't listen to you".

"Look, is this–".

"Why don't you try calling my by my name? Or am I to far below you to be called by a name?" she said angrily. "It's Emily".

"Fine. Emily, is this what she told you, that you're like her, or is this what you tell yourself when you want to please her?" Natara challenged. Her face briefly broke, but she quickly acquired the same hateful look of before.

"You know what? I'm done with this. Why Genevieve wanted me to get revenge on you is a mystery, because you're a waste of time. You and that little brat of yours. I'm not even going to waste time killing you myself, I have a better purpose for you".

"What?" Natara said confidently, refusing to give her the satisfaction of showing any fear "turning me into some training dummy for one of your little 'children'? Is that your revenge?".

She turned on heel without answering, but before she left she said "Training dummy? More like a chew toy". She disappeared through the door again, but as soon as she did there was the horrible screeching noise of old machinery working. The wall behind her slid up, and Natara now noticed it wasn't a wall at all. She was in a garage, and this was the car door. She peered out curiously, and could deep dark woods in the distance. For about two-hundred yards in front of her there was nothing but flat pasture, devoid of any trees or foliage.

"You better run" said the same woman's voice, seemingly coming out of nowhere. Natara froze for a second, unsure what to do. Before she could even give the matter any thought however, the door behind her burst open an a man came through. He was only maybe eighteen, with short-cropped brown hair. He was powerfully built, and on top of that he had a gun. He stood for a second, seemingly shocked himself. Natara guessed this was another one of her 'children', clearly a newer one. Maybe it was the fact that he was so young, or perhaps because Emily didn't have as good as an ability at creating killers, but the boy looked scared.

"Don't just stand there!" Emily's voice sounded again "get her!".

As if suddenly remembering what he was doing, the boy pointed his gun at Natara. But she had reacted quicker than him, and was already half way across the clearing. She could hear bullets whizzing past her, but he seemed to only be aiming for her legs. Of course. This was the chase, and after she was disabled was when the real fun began. He was practicing. Natara zig-zagged, trying to avoid the bullets. She cleared the tree line and ran between the trees, causing bullets to bounce off the trunks. She turned sharply around a tree, and found herself on the edge of a steep hill. She paused for just to long, and she felt a searing pain in her right calf. She let out a small cry of pain and her knees gave way, and the next thing she knew she was tumbling uncontrollably down the hill. She felt her body leave the ground for a moment, until it returned to the leafy floor with a painful thump. Without even looking back, she used her arms and uninjured left leg to push herself behind a nearby tree. She looked back up, where the boy was standing stupidly at the top of the hill. She could see why he didn't pursue her. It was large and steep, ending in a sudden three-foot drop. If she would have even attempted to run down she probably would have ended up breaking her ankle. She waited until the boy left, and after a moment he somewhat reluctantly walked away. Bracing herself for the worst, she sat back and examined her calf. She nearly cried out at the sight of it, and had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from doing so.

The bullet had pierced through the skin, creating a quarter sized hole in her leg. It was seeping blood, and Natara didn't think she could handle seeing how deep it was. She took off her jacket, ripping off both the sleeves and tying them tightly around the bleeding wound. She pushed hard down on her calf, forcing herself to bite down on her lip in her effort not to cry out.

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><p>It was to late, and Mal knew it. He had thought he heard someone talking nearby, and he knew one of the voices. He had called out to that familiar voice, but soon after it was silenced. By the time he had crashed through the thick woods and onto the clearing of the peak, all he could do was watch as a rusty blue pick-up truck pulled away. Kayla was lying in the grass nearby, stirring slightly. Mal ran to her, picking up her tiny body and watching as the truck pulled away. Every instinct he had told him to chase after them, before the trail went cold. But he knew he had to get Kayla to safety, that Natara would want him to put that before anything. So Mal walked away, leaving behind the peak. Leaving behind the ring, which little did he know was sitting on the very edge, and going to the first safe place he thought of.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

Natara was beginning to lose all hope of rescue as the sun went down. Her leg was still bleeding profusely, no matter how much pressure she put on it. The pool of blood it created was beginning to scare her, and she tried not to look at it. Whatever Emily had given her to knock her out had long gone, but now it was the blood loss that was making her mind numb. It was very dark when Natara was about to give up, simply hoping that Mal had found Kayla and would keep her safe, when she heard someone crashing through the woods. Whether friend or foe she couldn't tell, but she thought she could hear dogs barking in the distance. She didn't even notice someone walking up behind her, or calling her name. She felt that person pick her up, hooking their arms under her knees and behind her shoulders, and saying something softly. It took her a moment to get her eyes to focus on the face of her rescuer, and when she did she smiled slightly in spite if herself.

"Mal…".

"Ssssshhhhh, you're safe now. Amy was able to track the vehicle that took you and we got a search party out here right away. We have the woman who took Kayla and about five others in custody right now".

But there was only one word Natara processed. "…Kayla…".

"She's safe" Mal said "She's with Amy". When he looked down at her he saw Natara's head was limp. She had passed out, finally able to know Kayla was safe.

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><p>It didn't take long to get Natara to the hospital. There, they were able to get the bullet out and repair most of the damage to her leg, but her walking ability couldn't be determined until she woke up. In the meantime, Mal picked Kayla and Amy up and explained to Amy what was going on along the way. As they arrived they both sat down and waited, Kayla looking around at her new surroundings excitedly.<p>

"Where's mommy?" she asked, looking around as if expecting her to appear.

"She's sleeping" Amy answered her softly "you can see her soon".

Kayla looked around again "where's daddy?".

Amy and Mal looked at each other, neither wanting to answer. They were saved from answering when a nurse came out and told them they could see Natara. Kayla excitedly ran behind the woman, being the first to see a tired-looking Natara and causing her to smile.

"Thank you" she whispered to Mal and Amy as Kayla cheerfully told her about her day with Amy without being asked.

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><p>It was a week later until Kayla asked where her father had gone, and by that point Natara was out if the hospital. She was supposed to be using crutches, but for some unexplained reason she hated them and hobbled around without them. It was a Saturday morning when Kayla, who quickly took to Amy, practically begged her to play Candyland. It was one of the few odd objects that had been spared from the fire and Natara had taken with her, and Amy didn't refuse. They played on the coffee table in Mal's apartment, where Natara was staying for the time being, and Mal and Natara watched from the couch. It was randomly in the middle of the game when Kayla randomly asked "Where'd daddy go?".<p>

The room seemed to freeze for a moment, until Amy spoke up. She added another piece to the Candyland board, and Kayla watched her do so with widened eyes.

"If this is your daddy" she said, pointing to the piece "and someone takes him off the board, do you know what they means?".

"He can't play anymore" Kayla answered.

"That's right".

"But that's not fair!" she cried, as if the little plastic piece was actually her father.

"No, it's not" Amy said. There was a long silence, but after a moment Kayla moved her piece again.

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><p>"That was brilliant" Natara whispered and hour later. Kayla had taken over the couch, falling asleep soon after her game had ended. Amy had to go to work, as did Mal.<p>

Amy shrugged "Actually, I got that from _The Lovely Bones_. It just worked and it was the first thing I thought of".

Something, or rather the lack of something, caught Mal's eye. "Did you lose your wedding ring?" he asked her, looking at her hand, which she had rested on the doorframe.

She looked at her own hand, as I'd only noticing her rings absence now. "Yeah, I dropped it up at Widows Peak".

"Don't you want to go get it?" Amy asked.

"No. It's probably long gone by now, it's time to let go of it". She stopped for a moment. "It's be best for both me and Kayla, if I just moved on".


End file.
